The surprisingly inspiring way to make new year’s resolutions that are easy to follow
On Sunday I hit up the post holiday sales with one of my closest friends. After shopping a couple of hours, Kealy and I grabbed lunch at True Food Kitchen, a restaurant opened by Dr. Andrew Weil, an amazing medical doctor and naturopath who practices and teaches holistic health and uses healthy eating as a healing modality (ahem, exactly what I do with my clients). As I joyfully sipped my coffee with almond milk, I asked Kealy, “So… resolutions… You have any?” Her answer surprised me, “I decided I am not going to have any resolutions at all. Instead, I am going to live each moment to the very fullest. Even if I experience something painful, I will be present with that pain and feel it to its fullest, then move past it. Also, fuck fear. I’m done with it.” Isn’t that what life is all about? Living each moment to its fullest? That is where true happiness resides. Most of us play it small, stay stuck in the pain of the past or the anxiety of the future, not ever stepping into the amazing potential that resides within all of us. When you surrender to the present moment, you step into happiness, while pain and worries wash away.
I told Kealy that I am taking a different approach to my resolutions this year. I typically focus on a specific end goal, which stresses me out and places happiness as something attainable in the future rather right now. However, this year I am doing it backwards. I figured out exactly how I want to feel every single day, THEN created daily actions that will help me achieve this. These daily actions will eventually lead me to an awesome outcome that would typically be a “new year’s resolution.” My resolutions are inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s book, “The Desire Map.” Her book guides you to figure out your core desired feelings. Mine are bliss, abundance, love and connectedness. Think about it, every goal you have can be broken down into the desire to feel a certain way. For example, I want to make more money so I can travel, buy clothes, and eat at amazing restaurants. This all boils down to feeling abundant. I want to spend money freely, feel good about it, and not feel restricted while doing so. Another example is, I want to practice bikram yoga as much as possible. I want this because I feel utter bliss when I practice bikram and I feel confident and sexy in my body. It goes even further than that, I want to feel sexy, so I can feel loved. So really, what I want to feel every day is bliss, love and abundance. Practicing bikram as much as possible is a resolution that keeps me inspired each day because it brings me to bliss. If I made the resolution to work out every single day just to make a goal, chances are I will skip a day here or there, beat myself up, then give up on the resolution altogether. Not exactly the happy ending we envision when creating goals.
Write down your answers for the following questions:
1. What changes or goals do you have? To lose weight? Eat healthier? Work out more? Have more intimacy in your relationships?
2. Why do you want these things? How will you feel once you attain them? Happy? Joyful? Confident? Loved? Peaceful? Relaxed? Excited? Energized?
3. Once you figure out 3-5 feelings you want to feel each day, ask yourself, what are simple actions you can take daily, weekly and monthly that will help you feel this way?
Now schedule them into your calendar for the month of January and make them non-negotiable. Book that hair appointment now. Schedule that coffee date with your friend now. It’s not real until it’s scheduled.
I know how difficult it is to follow through with health goals. You start strong, then work gets stressful, your motivation for hitting the gym disappears, or your inspiration dissipates when the scale doesn’t reflect your effort. Doing this alone is tough. Let me help you stay on track. Check out different coaching programs I offer: http://purejillian.com/programs/
Danielle LaPorte’s website : http://www.daniellelaporte.com/